I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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