Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
