Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
