It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
