he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
