she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
