my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I need to calm my uterus...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
