my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
