I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
