you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it hurts more in the daytime
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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