we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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