That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
