I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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