he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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