cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Randomize
