Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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