Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize