And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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