high people should be assigned attendants
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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