So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
