last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
