Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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