There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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