She said her name was "party"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
