please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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