I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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