Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
