yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
