Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
nut hugger
wat bout pragnant strippers??
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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