Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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