Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
