she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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