He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
