Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
