She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
