last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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