i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
