She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
