am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
