Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
