Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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