Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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