Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
