Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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