playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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