she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
