Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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