The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
