Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
