His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
