4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
