I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
