I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
